What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
