May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
