Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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