i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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