Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
