508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
4 words: hood of his car
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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