are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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