so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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