I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
