Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize