My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
