You really coming over, don't trick.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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