i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
