I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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