You're completely useless in the revolution.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
