This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
