You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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