I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
