yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
