these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
