I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
