My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They took my balls.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
