How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
