Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
