My first STD was from a foam party
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
