It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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