So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize