I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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