She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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