You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
