I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
