they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
