what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
