toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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