well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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