Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
