she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
