im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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