Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
