i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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