If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
