you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
