I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
