hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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