Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
