this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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