we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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