come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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