just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
