Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
