we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
