ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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