I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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