singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize