You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
