Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
