he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize