girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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