You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
