OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Semen is not good for contacts.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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