I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize