Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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