her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
