next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
