Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
