lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
