I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
