Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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