the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
