All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
