We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
